Over Rated

Today at lunch, I decided relationships are overrated. Tonight, I'm buying condoms and watch out, boys, here I come!!!

Another one bites the dust

No, I'm not referring to yet another boy. Just when I was starting to feel secure in my single-ness and enjoying not being interested in any boys, a woman I know goes and gets engaged. Normally I'm genuinely happy when happy things happen to other people. I'm even okay (and I might go as far as saying happy) working with the many happy, happy couples who come into register for their damn weddings, knowing no such thing is in my near future. But, try as I might, I can't get myself to stir up any genuinely happy feelings in this case. All I can see is another wedding that I'll attend (probably alone or with a girlfriend), surrounded by people wondering when it will be my turn, nieces wondering if they'll ever be flower girls in my wedding, a sister wondering when she'll share in this joy with her own sister, parents wondering when they'll be done with the responsibility of getting me married...
Yes, yes, I know there are more important things in life, more things to be happy about...I'll get back there. Right now I'd rather just wallow in the two things that I want but don't have and aren't even visible at the end of the tunnel. Let's hope the bitter-single-woman thing don't last. Here's to being single and enjoying it--I guess.

Corporate Warfare

I've decided to cause corporate warfare--over me. So, I heard about this job at a company and decided to go on the interview. Things were fine at my current job (let's call it Company A) but I thought why not check out other options. Company B apparently liked me and offered me a position. I accepted since it looked like a decent offer. I gave my notice to Company A, who flipped out. They decided they really didn't want me to leave and also made me an offer. Company A offered me a permanent position where as Company B was only offering me another contract position. After much negotiation with Company A and being on an emotional roller coaster, they came in higher than Company B--all things considered. So, I accepted without hesitation. I called and told Company B's reps that I was sorry to decline their offer. The reps then called me back to offer me more compensation than the original. But it's still a contract position. I've decided to stay with Company A and feel relieved that a decision's been made and it's one with which I'm comfortable. But, in all honesty, who would have thought that I'd have two companies fighting for me???? I certainly did not--not now, not ever, esp. not when I was an 11-yr-old whose biggest worry was whether I'd get a typewriter for my b-day. (I did, in case anyone wondered.) I most certainly feel like I'm taking the more comfortable, reliable, stable option but I think I'm okay with that. It feels very grown-up, which is also a new feeling... I was discussing this with a friend--how the stresses of life are no longer about toys or school or grades. Now it's all grown-up stuff like jobs/careers, families, the future, retirement... We're all grown-up people and there are kids worrying about school, grades, the mall, boys and what not to prove it. I like being here.

NYC

I did it! I went to NYC and without a doubt it's been one of the best vacations I've ever been on--thanks to citygirl's accomodations and patience while we shopped! I visited J and cousin Azer kindly flew in from England to meet me there. Day 1, I explored J's neighborhood and found Starbucks in the morning. Then when J suddenly had to leave work due to illness, we knew the only thing that would make her feel better was the kate spade sample sale. So, after lunch at the Cafeteria, we headed to her remedy. She felt a little better but I certainly felt great one kate spade later. Day 2, had us experiencing NYC Sex & the City style when we went on a tour by the same name. We sat on Carrie's stoop, enjoyed cupcakes and visited the Pleasure Chest for some toys 'n things. After the tour we visited Chinatown for some purses and almost got arrested. Okay slight exaggeration, but this place is nuts. Little Asian men, women, boys & girls stand on sidewalks saying just under their breaths, "Louis Vuitton, Prada, Coach purses." If you happen to hear them, you've scored a visit to the backs of their stores where they lead you into a tiny closet full of fakes. These people are professionals! In one case, we followed a man a safe distance behind down the street, around the corner, behind a van and wondered if we'd accidentally talked ourselves into a drug deal. After the high stress of shopping, we enjoyed a nice lunch in Little Italy and a nicer tiramisu with some great eye-candy. That night Azer met us and we scoped out Mr. Big's bar called the Cutting Room and another place called the Coffee Shop Bar. Day 3, we attempted to see the Empire State Building but it was rainy and gross, so we found ourselves shopping in Soho. Upon Mac's recommendation, we stopped in at the Spring Lounge briefly and not upon his recommendation we had some pizza w/a vodka sauce. It's the one thing that does not compare to Chicago! That night we had planned to check out the nightlife but ended up at home with a bottle of wine, J's boy and Trivial Pursuit. We proceeded to get beaten to death...it was me & J against her boy and I'm claiming that he's been studying those cards whenever he gets a chance. I'm starting my studying too for my next visit out there. Day 4 had us enjoying a great lunch at Serendipity and an attempt to catch Lady Liberty but we arrived at the ferry place at 4:10 p.m. only to find out the last ferry departs at 4 p.m. So, we went shopping. The day concluded with dinner in Soho with Azer and well...shopping. Hmmm...is anyone seeing a theme to this trip? Girl, I've already started saving for my next shopping trip to NYC.

My longest run yet...

I’m training to run the marathon. Sometimes it occurs to me that I’m crazy, even though I know a million others have done it and do it regularly. I’m not that much of a runner, so I don’t what I was smoking/drinking/inserting into my veins me when I signed up. But, I did. And this weekend, I had my longest run yet—10 miles. I seriously wasn’t sure I’d make it, but I had an encouraging friend who kept pushing w/words like “just focus on one thing and don’t think about running” or “that’s one thing you’ll have to do in the marathon—run through your pain—just run through it”. Knowing that she wanted to finish too kept me going. Thanks girl! So, if I was struggling with 10 miles, how will I manage 26.2 miles, you ask? I’ll let you know when I figure that one out! I know one thing for sure, I’ll need an MP3 player. If you feel like buying me a generous gift for no reason other than you love me for existing, please get me an MP3 player.

NYC

Only 58 hours and 57 minutes 'til I'm there!! Not that I'm counting or anything...

Moral Dilemma

I am fundraising for this organization called the Fairygodmother Foundation. They grant wishes to terminally ill adults with less than one year to live. I am working on one particular case where a dying mom wants new bedroom furniture for her two teenage sons. Well, I sent out a mass email to a bunch of friends & family soliciting their funds. This brought up issues w/someone close to me, who told me she did not believe in this cause. I told her she should not feel obligated to contribute if she did not believe in the cause—I would not be offended personally. The other day when I was visiting w/her & her family, her husband gave me a check for the same cause. I questioned it, did not get a response and assumed he did not want to discuss it. I felt uncomfortable taking the check, but accepted it not knowing exactly how to handle the situation, but decided to discuss it w/her. I did and found that indeed they had not discussed the matter, as she did not realize he was included in the mass email I sent out. Quite honestly, I had also forgotten he was included in the email. So, now I’m torn—do I keep the check knowing that I need all the help I could get in my fundraising efforts? Or, do I return it knowing one of the two don’t fully believe in the cause? Anyone have any thoughts???

If you would like to make a donation, please make checks out to Fairygodmother Foundation (with "Angelica's Wish" in the memo line) and send them to me. Don't have my address? Contact me and I will give it to you.

My gripe about UPS and other random thoughts

It sucks. They’ll send your package to a different address, but not to a different UPS location, so I can’t pick it up from a UPS location close to me. Instead I have to drive an hour out of my way to pick it up because they determine the pick-up location by the zip code. An hour out of my zip code is not logical.
My cousin made me this awesome running c.d. and every time I run with it, I wanna run faster and longer. Hope it keeps me running for those 20 or so miles!!!
My friend has this really awesome blog: http://mycubehasthreesides.blogspot.com/ I can only dream of mine being so cool…
I’m going to NYC next week to visit Jewell and meet up with Azer. Cannot wait! Only 7 more days to go…
I’m on a trail mix kick…but am often reprimanded for not having M&Ms in the mix.
My car is still healthy.
I’m still reading Madame Bovary, along with Running Your First Marathon and One Hundred Years of Solitude and some magazines. I wonder why it’s taking me so long to finish Madame Bovary.

Faithless?

I woke up Monday morning to NBC news, like I do every morning. And the headline story was about the traffic jam being caused under the Fullerton underpass by a water stain. But, it’s not just any water stain, I tell you. It’s one that apparently resembles the Virgin Mary. So, people are stopping and looking at this water stain. And, last night people were even having a candle vigil by the water stain!! I’ve seen the water stain on the news and maybe I’m lacking faith, but I don’t see the resemblance at all. C’mon people, are we so desperate for faith that we need to seek it out in a water stain? I say we find spirituality in better places than a water stain—but, hey, that’s just me.

The Weekend

It was jam-packed. Friday night I went to this awesome light/animation show to music compiled by Moby at the Adler Planetarium. If you’re ever looking for something interesting and different to do in the city, this is it. And the Chicago skyline in the summertime is incredibly beautiful. I cannot wait for it to warm up so that I can enjoy warm, long, romantic strolls by the lake…it was not warm enough this time. The highlight of the weekend was a day of shopping w/the sis and the baby, who was only too happy to see Arshiya Aunti! She started laughing the minute I said hi to her. I tell you, I cannot get enough of that smiling face. Saturday night I went out with another boy. And, they are still up to no good. Had an incredible time, laughing, walking and talking ‘til forever. The next day he called to say, “You’re an amazing person, but I’m really picky.” Thanks but no thanks. Okay, I appreciate the honesty but was a phone call really necessary after just one date—the verdict is still out on that… If I’m an amazing person, why stress that he’s picky—isn’t it kind of like saying, “Oh, you got your hair cut!” without a follow-up? Boys, boys, boys…they continue baffle me. It also got me thinking about how my year’s not off to such a good start as far as some people are concerned—two people I was interested in told me they’re not so interested even though their actions would indicate otherwise and one friend told me she no longer wants to be my friend (after 8 years with no explanation!!). While I’m okay with these people’s decisions, I have came to the conclusion that I need to be more selective in whom I trust. And, though another friend’s wise words echo in my head, “Confidence is sexy, arrogance is not,” I have to say, let the selectiveness begin! Really, though, I’m not as bitter as I sound. I’m just losing faith in people…maybe I should go visit the water stain Virgin Mary…

Birthday, biodatas and other fun stuff

I'm finally coming to terms with being 33. The birthday celebration lasted 5 days--starting w/Plush on Friday night where several friends joined me for drinks, then Saturday some of my favorite nieces & my sis took me to lunch and another friend took me to dinner. Sunday I ran the Shamrock Shuffle! It's only 4.96 miles, but I did it in 56 minutes and enjoyed all 56 minutes. This is one fun run, with bands playing along the way and people cheering you on. Afterwards my friend & I went to Starbucks for a well-deserved extra hot, extra chai, chai-latte. Then off I went to celebrate my newest niece's 1st birthday!!! A whole year lived. Wow. She's 32 years younger than me. WOW!!! On Monday, that actual day of my birth, a friend treated me to more Starbucks and others took me to dinner at a new sushi place and I had what could possibly be the best sushi ever. Tuesday was the dinner w/the p's. My mom's so cute--she made my favorites and got me a cake and the whole bit. She does thing when I leave--she stands in the doorway until I pull out and drive away. I love it. It always makes me feel warm & fuzzy inside.

So, since I've survived yet another year of life, and remain unattached (here's to being single!!), I decided to spend this Saturday at a very holy speed-dating event at the local mosque. Well, okay, so it wasn't entirely holy and the mosque was not so local and it's not the normal speed-dating kind of thing. One of the requirements of attending this event was submitting a biodata. If you're desi, then no explanation is required, but some of you are not, so here it goes. It's like a resume except with different kind of information. It informs your potential mate of critical information like: name, age, occupation (sometimes income), parents' names & occupations, brothers', grandparents', uncles' names and occupations. Your residential status, in case your potential is seeking a U.S. citizenship. And, of course the most important thing you need to know about your potential mate: your height. I mean, how could you even consider marrying someone w/out knowing his/her height, right? I was lucky enough to be late to the event and was seated at a semi-normal table. At least a couple of guys had some social skills and the ability to converse and even crack a joke or two. It seemed though some guys were quite focused on the task at hand. As one guy put it, "I don't want to talk politics. I'm here for one reason and that's to find a wife." I know, I sound completely evil. Much to my surprise, the event actually ended up being fun. Now I can't say all of these events are horrible. Does that mean I'll have to keep going until I find that un-fun one again? I'm sure it won't be long. Or until I'm 35, since that's the cut-off. No, it was not a complete waste of my Saturday, after all I did get to spend some quality time w/one of my favorite girls, I discovered a relative is "cooler" than I ever thought and I got free advice on my car. And, of course, I met a couple of potentials...

So, on to the other fun stuff:
Last night I went to this Morroccan musician who played sufi trance music at this place called the Hot House. It was very cool. The music was just incredibly moving. Many people were inspired to start dancing (I was not one of them, but it has nothing to do with the music). The Hot House has such a great mix of people and I really enjoyed hanging out in such an international scene.

My car's in the shop again. I hope it lives. Please say a little prayer for it.

I worked at C&B today, after so long. And once again I left there feeling happy and energized. What is it about that place???

Dedicated Blog

Consider yourself warned: this is a really serious blog. Feel free to stop reading here for this might be too heavy for a blog.

Recent events have me contemplating life. Too often we go through life not realizing how little time we have left in this world. And too often we don't tell the ones we love and care about how much we love and care about them. Of course we don't really need to hear it all the time 'cos we feel it when we see each other, talk to each other, share special or not-so-special moments. It's a feeling that is understood, I know that well. So, please do not take this to feel obligated to tell me how much I mean to you. If I've talked to you or seen you recently, I already know. But I did want to tell you how much you all mean to me--no matter how slightly or greatly you've been a part of my life, it's meant something to me and chances are I've walked away feeling my life is a little fuller just having met you or known you for a long time. This blog is dedicated to all of you. And to the special being that didn't make it into this world.

Wild Boys

Please, please tell me now! Are there any Duranies out there? Yea, y’know you’re out there, so don’t even try denying it! I went to the concert with four of the five original members. At the age of 30-something, my friend and I got dropped off and picked up from the show—by her husband (no parents dropping us off this time!). There were a lot of disgruntled husbands accompanying their wives, a few women who didn’t realize we’re no longer living in the ‘80s, several gay men and of course a lot of girlfriends. Though they opened with a new song they did not disappoint us as they shortly broke out into Hungry Like the Wolf. And proved to me that my old age has not gotten to my memory. I remembered all the words. Our seats were perfect—not so close that we were able to see Simon’s love handles (and honestly, there’s nothing lovable about them!) but close enough to see the hotness known as John Taylor. He’s still as skinny and tall and hot as ever! But, can someone please tell Nick to take off that make-up!! Indeed, these wild boys reminded us that this is planet earth and Simon even donned his cap for the Chauffeur. And I couldn’t help but remember all the fainting girls and the limo pulling up to the concert hall from the start of Blue Silver as they played Tiger, Tiger—if you’re a true fan, you know exactly what I’m talking about! They closed with Girls on Film and Rio before we all walked out with our feelings of nostalgia.

'Til death do you 'part or the china pattern do you 'part?

Working at C&B has many benefits--the discount, schtikel, extra $$--but getting up at 7:00 a.m. to be at work at 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning is not one of them. Why the insanity when the store does not open 'til 11? There was a special event happening where happily-together couples can come in to register for their big day without the chaos of other customers. To make those early morning hours go by a little faster, while we waited for our grande Starbucks to kick in, my coworkers and I observed the couples and wondered if there is any correlation b/w the registry and the marriage to be...

There was the bride without the groom--will he always be so removed from their life together?
There was the groom that was clearly being dragged through this misery known as registering. We wondered if he's also being dragged to the alter.
A bride came in with her maid of honor--is it a healthy, trusting relationship or is the maid of honor more a part of the marriage than the groom?
A couple arrived with the bride's mother--I wondered how much influence she had on the couple's relationship.
Another couple came in with the groom's mother--did someone say mama's boy?
There was the older couple with a weariness about them...which number are we on honey? Which number wedding, I mean--do they really need more dishes?
There was the threesome--2 girls and a guy. Right in the beginning, after the scanner was handed over, the guy went one way and the two girls the other. Will they meet at the alter?
There was the bride who lost her husband--she asked at least 4 of us if we'd seen her husband. Let's hope he finds his way when it really matters.
There was the overwhelmed couple: "If the goblet is for red wine, and the glass with the longer stem for white wine, what about the glasses with the goblet but a longer stem--what are those for? Should we register for those? Do we need more than one style of flatware? Do we want beer mugs? What's the difference between a double and a cooler and a juice glass? Should we register for knives?" Take a deep breath and count to 10...it will be okay...

And, of course, without fail, there is the happy, healthy couple who was just having a good time with the whole thing--from picking the flatware to deciding on the shower curtain. It's always refreshing to see love at its finest.

Prophylactic

Wondering what's the best love glove for you & your mate? Considering a change in your rubber selection? Or even if you're not, after reading this you might want to: http://slate.msn.com/id/2114132/
I laughed out loud several times, but what a great reference guide for us all!

All Apologies

This is one of my favorite poems ever:
This Is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.
--William Carlos Williams

It's the most un-apologetic apology and that's the beauty of it (for me, anyway). An ex-coworker emailed me variations upon it. Apparently not everyone is as fond of the poem as I am. Here are the variations:

I
I chopped down
the house
that you had
been saving

to live in
next summer.

I am sorry
it was morning
I had nothing to do
its wooden beams
were so inviting.

II
We laughed
at the hollyhocks
together
then sprayed them
with lye.

Forgive me
I simply do
not know
what I'm doing.

III
I gave away
the money
that you had
been saving to live
on for the next ten years.

The man
who asked
for it
was shabby

Forgive me
the firm March
wind on the porch
was so juicy
so cold.

As much as I love the poem, these made me laugh. Any apologies written to me like this would have to be forgiven for their shear creativity.

13

My little (or not-so-little) nieces have turned 13. They've entered the exciting world known as the "teens". And I'm hit with feelings of nostalgia & old age. 13 yrs ago, I was merely a college student, trying to figure out my life.
13 yrs ago, I held both of them in my arms at the same time--one in each arm. I heard them wake up, one at a time in the middle of the night. And on their 1st birthday, I saw them sitting on the gift table at their party, looking very much like the gifts they were to us all.
10 yrs ago, I landed a job at a pharmaceutical company, took a semester off and worked full-time.
10 yrs ago, we went to the Children's Museum where they stood straight up inside a tunnel, painted their faces and pretended to be kings.
8 yrs ago, I finally graduated from college, had a fabulous celebration, made a job change, moved out of my parents' home and in with my sister & the girls.
8 yrs ago, the girls were scared by my voice loss on graduation day (I had celebrated the night before) and I heard Shazia singing (when she didn't think anyone was listening) Rolling Stones "you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you'll get what you need."
6 yrs ago, I made yet another job change and survived my first real broken heart.
6 yrs ago, the girls started playing soccer, or I should say standing on the soccer field, and I started dropping them off to school in the mornings with a kiss.
4 yrs ago, I moved out of my sister's and into the city into my very own place and missed driving the girls to school and having their chitter-chatter wake me on weekend mornings.
4 yrs ago, the girls helped move me into my new place, explore my new neighborhood, helped me explore my new neighborhood and walked down the aisle as beautiful flower girls at their mom's wedding.
3 yrs ago, they spent a weekend at my place & we went to see the Blue Man Group for their birthday.
2 yrs ago, they started joking they'd soon be taller than me.
1 yr ago, they were as tall as me, and they became sisters to a new baby girl.
Which of course brings us to the present with two beautiful girls starting their teens. And that's it for my walk down memory lane.

he's just not that into you

Of course we all remember the episode when Miranda learned that the guy of the moment just wasn't that into her. And how liberated she felt. Well, here's the book that's meant to liberate all single women by giving them the power of knowledge. And, here's the knowledge I've gained:

• if he doesn't call, he's just not that into you (as the writer says: "With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you...If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.") In my opinion, the same rule applies to email.
• if he's sleeping with someone else, he's just not that into you
• if he's not asking you out, he's just not that into you
• if he's breaking up with you, he's just not that into you
• if he's married to someone else, he's just not that into you
• if he's a selfish jerk, a bully or a big freak, he's just not that into you
• if you don't know if you're dating him, he's just not that into you (apparently when a guy's really into you and wants to date you, he'll let you know!! Imagine that!)

Can I (from my own & from friends' experiences) also add:

• if he only talks about himself, he's just not that into you
• if he only calls you at 1:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he's just not that into you (and he's only calling for one reason, do not let him come over!!!)
• if he's only returning your phone calls, he's just not that into you
• if he's jacking-off on your bed on the 2nd date, he's just not that into you (ok, ok, ok, i'll let that one go...eventually!!!)
• if he's not making New Year's plans with you, he's just not that into you
• if he doesn't want to be exclusive, he's just not that into you
• if you're confused about what's going on with you two, he's just not that into you

Of course, we all already know all of these things--so what's the big hoopladoo about the book? Well, I for one just found it to be a nice reminder of all of the above, and it's true, knowledge is power. Here's another nice reminder from the book: there is no reason to be with someone who is not that into you. You are too intelligent, beautiful, wonderful to be waiting around for a phone call. Go and live your life. I think the main point of the book is basically care enough about yourself not put up with b.s. So, excuse me while I continue to live my life. And, if you're interested in me, just be straight w/me 'cos I've got a life to live. Oh, but wait, just one more thing.

Here's what else the book got me thinkin' about--why leave the guys out in the cold? Why not also give them the power of knowledge. Aren't they always complaining about not knowing what women want? How about someone out there write a book "she's just not that into you if..." I'll help them out with a couple of pointers:

she's just not that into you if:

• washing her hair on a date night is more important than seeing you (ok I've never actually known anyone to use this excuse, but just in case and really I don't know any women who spend a whole evening doing this)
• she's not returning your phone calls (i.e. take a hint and don't keep calling. That automatically puts you in the freak category.)
• she's too busy (see above from "he's not that into you")
• she's only seeking you out when she has car problems, other guy problems, plumbing problems, etc...

Anyone else have anything to add to this list?

The Joy of Working in Retail

For as long as I can remember, I've had a part-time job in the retail world in addition to whatever full-time job I've had. I've blessed Crabtree & Evelyn, Bombay Co (tried to introduce bhangra music to them--it didn't go over too well), J Crew and now Crate & Barrel with my presence. Tonight, I've finally come to known why I love the retail world so much. It's a little thing called schtikel at C&B. What's this, you ask? It's a shelf that has merchandise that is slightly damaged (a little chip here, a little scratch there), has been returned & cannot be resold for whatever reason, floor displays that have nothing wrong with them, out-of-season items and we, the very lucky employees of C&B, get to buy these items for next to nothing. Tonight $7.50 got me a serving platter, some very cute, colorful nesting bowls, and the grande finale an entire set of new bedding. I'm talkin' about a duvet cover, a fitted sheet, a flat sheet, and 2 pillow shams. Yes, indeed, you did read that right. I couldn't word it better than one of my coworkers: "Whenever I feel sad & I have to come to work, I just know schtikel will make it all better." The joy of schtikel...

How Soon Is Too Soon & What Kind of Girl Am I?

I got a call on my drive to work this morning.
“Arsh? I slept with him too soon,” my friend blurted out.
“Who?”
“____ the guy I went on a 3rd date with.”
I felt almost Carrie Bradshaw-like, getting this information first thing in the morning from someone I don’t talk to regularly.
“Why do you think it’s too soon? Weren’t you ready?”
“I was, but I don’t want him to think I’m one of those girls he’s just having fun with & sleeps around too soon and can’t marry.”

What’s this? Do guys really think of some women as “fun” and some as “marriageable”? Indeed. I’m immediately taken back to a different conversation w/a guy who was stating just that. There are two kinds of girls—the kind you have fun with and the kind you marry. And, apparently women do also. None that I know of personally, but this guy went on to tell me that indeed women have their boy-toys and the men they marry. It doesn’t sound so far-fetched—didn’t the long-haired boy start off as Samantha’s (Sex & the City) boy-toy? But back to the problem at hand.

“If you both felt comfortable, I’m sure it’s fine.” I’m not used to early morning conversations of such nature so I was eager to get off the phone.
“You don’t think it was too soon then?”
“Like I said, it really depends on your comfort level. Maybe talk to him about it to see where he’s at if you’re worried.”
Then came the inevitable question.
“Have you ever slept with someone this soon?”“Oh, you know what, I’m pulling into work so I better go.” That was a close call. But nevertheless, I was left pondering how soon is too soon? And what kind of girl am I—the marrying kind or the having fun kind? Maybe I should do a survey of ex’s…or NOT.

Virutal Dating Part Two

This year I decided to start the year off on a clean slate--no more virutal dating, no more "searching" for the right one...it will happen when it happens. Or so they say. For now I am living and enjoying life. There are one or two possible interests on the horizon but for now they are friends and either they will remain that way or not, that's yet to be seen. That's besides the point. The point here is while I haven't been actively doing the online dating thing, I still have accounts that remain inactive on a couple of sites. Because of that I sometimes get responses to my profiles. Even if the inquiries sound good I don't usually respond because meeting people this way just does not appeal to me anymore. What gets me are some of the emails I have received from people expressing an interest. Now, when I came across a profile I was interested in, I did my best to put my best foot forward, even if it is through email. Here are just a couple of emails I have received that amazed me. They left me wondering if these people really care about the first impression they're making. Go ahead and call me a jerk (or whatever harsh word you choose to use) but why don't people care about grammar anymore? I don't care if it's only email--unless I know you personally, grammar matters!!! Would you have responded to these?

I am really amazed by reading your profile. It was treaded in an hillarious manner. Well, after reading I thought why not I mail you. So, here is the mail... I am also 32 and looking for a woman to date and have relationship. If you get a chance, read my profile and reply me back if you are open.

I am 40 years old medical doctor and farm business owner from Pakistan (not in UK mentioned in profile.. sorry). Would you be interested in marriage with someone of a different country or culture as I am? I am not rushing to marriage straight away but that's what I aim for. If yes, we can explore more. I am simple, honest, very flexible, understanding and caring person. I know how to treat and appreciate my lady with care and respect and can treat her queen or princess. I won't impose any restrictions but would needs total loyalty and faithfulness in return. Religion of partner is not important to me but I am Muslim by birth (not much religious though).If relationship doesn't works, we can be true friends forever at least. Do get in touch if willing to explore more.

Hello: There How are you? I hope you are fine. I read you ad very well and I believe we will be the best match. If you show interests to me and are willing to know more about me, please let me know. WE have mutual communication by email and later you will find that I am a very nice man too. And I maybe I'm the one you are looking for. I hope to be close to you with my kind and sincere. I do feel you are very excellent. I am very lucky to have met you among the mess on net. I will cherish the precious relationship. My name is Mohammed born in Alexandria, Egypt grow up to age 20 then I move to Germany and I have been living in Charlotte, NC. USA from 1983. I am successful and financially secure with a love of living life to its fullest. I love dining out and I LIKE All music, I love to Travel, Swimming, Cooking, Playing sports, horseback ridding, bike rides, jump rope, Driving sports car convertible in the sunset, walking on the beach, playing in the sand with my kids. I have two beautiful kids who are the light of my life. I do hope we can know each other more with our communicate. I'm young man with a lot to offer that special women. I am successful and financially secure with a love of living life to its fullest I would like to share my life with a women who knows who she is and what she wants, a women with plans who can also be spontaneous. I have two beautiful kids who are live full time with me...but I also realize that it's important to share yourself with a special someone. Whoever comes into my life will get a person who views the glass as half full NEVER half empty, a caring, warm, big hearted guy. MANY THANKS FOR YOUR RESPOND. would describe myself as honest, caring, intelligent (but not a stuffy intellectual), goofy, and fun. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family, and value those relationships tremendously. I have a great sense of humor and I am basically a happy person. I would like very much to have someone special in my life. I am an easy going person that is loyal and trustworthy, affectionate and sensitive, who values family and friends and live a healthy lifestyle. I have a deep desire to worship and please GOD. I believe. that a woman should be treated with respect and showered with love. She always be the center of my love. I am looking for a durable, stable relationship, someone not afraid to communicate what's on their mind, especially if it affects our relationship. A good sense of humor and a positive outlook are essential. I love the ocean and the beach, and am willing to go shark diving once! I like singing really loud in my car and deluding myself that nobody can see me doing it. I listen to a wide variety of music and I would have a very difficult time choosing an all time favorite song. Love to travel to exotic places and explore the culture. I am professionally employed and basically happy with my life, but I am looking for a quality person to share it with. I find that most anything can be interesting or fun if you are with the right person. If you're looking for a best friend AND your future better half then I'm looking forward to talking to you. HERE SOME QUESTION AND I LIKE YOU TO ANSWER THE SAME QUESTION I'M ALREADY ANSWERING THEM. How old are you? I am 45 years old. How old are your kids? My kids they are very young. Mohammed is 9 years old and jasmine is 7 years old. 2- Where is their mother? there mother is American. About what happen with my ex wife she cheat on me with others. 3- What do you do in life and what kind of education do you have? I own business for 12 years. my Education mechanic Engineer specialist in motor craft. 4- Are you serious? I'm very serious no time for games I have kids need love not jocks, I'm also looking for lady to be nice, polite, lovely, friendly, and sweet. I AM SICK LADY ALL IN ONE WOMEN PASSIONATE LOVER, CARING FRIEND CULTURALLY DIVERSIFIED CONVERSATIONALIST OPEN MINDED, KINDHEARTED COMPANION ACTIVE GLOBE-TROTTER, TRUE LIVE LOVER/POSITIVE THINKER. PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE, CUTE / EDUCATED AFFECTIONATE, INTELLIGENT, PATIENT, LOVING FOR CHILDREN VERY MUCH, ACTIVE, ORGANIZED a God fearing partner life. Respectable, Dependable. Mature, stable emotionally at least. A women who is ready to settle down. A women who enjoys life yet not very impressed with material stuff in life. A women who is willing to be the DEVOTED WIFE. Thank you for READING MY EMAIL. Any other question you may like to ask please ask me on the phone I do not like to give to much detail on the net. I would love to see your pictures if you do not mind. have a nice day. I'm not a member on here-so please SEND ME YOUR RESPOND TO MY EMAIL

Reading List

I was in a book club last year--well, really, just the first half of the year. We picked a few decent books to read--like the Red Tent, the Kite Runner--okay, so it was just a couple. I may have read another good one through them but I can't recall. But most of the selections were annoying. How can a book be annoying you ask? Well, the plots were predictable and the characters just weren't intriguing enough, or I was turned off by the title so I didn't bother with the book. I know, I know, you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover, but if I don't even find the title interesting, why should I bother with the rest of the book? Anyway, recently a friend brought a book back for me from another country. And shortly thereafter another friend asked me what I thought of the book so far. The following words slipped out: Well, it's just not that well written. In response my friend said, okay you've got to stop being so critical--what do you think of the story? And on went our conversation.

But, it got me thinking. Am I being too critical? What is it exactly that makes me say "It's just not that well written." I am not by any means a great writer myself so what expertise am I basing this criticism on? Does a book have to be well written for it to be enjoyable? I know many people who read romance novels just for the hell of it--and I don't know that either of the above-mentioned books are particularly "well-written" but they tell great stories. So, is reading anything a good thing or just reading quality books? Well, contrary to popular belief, I don't have all the answers.

However, one of my new year's resolutions was to read some of the classics. The one that I've started is Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. I haven't gotten very far into the book--it tends to be a little bit of a slow read even though it is captivating. From what I've read so far, I have to agree with one of Amazon's editor's description: In Madame Bovary Flaubert never allows anything to go on too long; he can suggest years of boredom in a paragraph, capture the essence of a character in a single conversational exchange, or show us the gulf between his soulful heroine and her dull-witted husband in a sentence (and one that, moreover, presages all Emma's later experience of men).

So, I guess what makes a well-written book is when you know the author has chosen each and every word carefully to get across his/her point across. I suppose that's what makes the classics the classics--they're not only well-written but tell great stories and develop characters that stick in one's mind. I hope one day I can be as meticulous about the words I choose to write as some of the great ones out there!

Happy New Year

So, we're well into 2005 and my new year's greetings are a bit delayed. The last few months have been busy...Here's a quick rundown of what's kept me busy:

a part-time job at Crate & Barrel, where using my awesome discount, i collected some nice serving platters; hosted a tree-trimming party for my 6' tree, using the awesome platters; a dear friend visit from Iraq; a fun wedding in Chinatown where I met a boy who took me on a date, explained to me why he wasn't going to pay & then went in for a kiss (i think he read the wrong book on what to do on a date); the C&B holiday party in the ballroom at the Union Station, for which I got to dress up and where I danced with the CEO to Michael Jackson's PYT; went on another date where I had fun but the next day got a poem from the boy about how I've changed his world and realized that I want to be in an even exchange relationship; had Thanksgiving w/a wonderful friend who went all out with the turkey and all the trimmings; got sick, got better; celebrated Eid w/family, celebrated Xmas Eve & Xmas with family and friends in-town and from out-of-town and finally closed out the year with a bang of a New Year's party.

And now it's 2005. This year I didn't make any major resolutions. I think I'm going to attempt to read the classics, find a way to give back, to be more creative and to be a better family member (sister, aunt, daughter) & friend. Here's to the New Year!