Thursday, January 27, 2005

The Joy of Working in Retail

For as long as I can remember, I've had a part-time job in the retail world in addition to whatever full-time job I've had. I've blessed Crabtree & Evelyn, Bombay Co (tried to introduce bhangra music to them--it didn't go over too well), J Crew and now Crate & Barrel with my presence. Tonight, I've finally come to known why I love the retail world so much. It's a little thing called schtikel at C&B. What's this, you ask? It's a shelf that has merchandise that is slightly damaged (a little chip here, a little scratch there), has been returned & cannot be resold for whatever reason, floor displays that have nothing wrong with them, out-of-season items and we, the very lucky employees of C&B, get to buy these items for next to nothing. Tonight $7.50 got me a serving platter, some very cute, colorful nesting bowls, and the grande finale an entire set of new bedding. I'm talkin' about a duvet cover, a fitted sheet, a flat sheet, and 2 pillow shams. Yes, indeed, you did read that right. I couldn't word it better than one of my coworkers: "Whenever I feel sad & I have to come to work, I just know schtikel will make it all better." The joy of schtikel...

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

How Soon Is Too Soon & What Kind of Girl Am I?

I got a call on my drive to work this morning.
“Arsh? I slept with him too soon,” my friend blurted out.
“____ the guy I went on a 3rd date with.”
I felt almost Carrie Bradshaw-like, getting this information first thing in the morning from someone I don’t talk to regularly.
“Why do you think it’s too soon? Weren’t you ready?”
“I was, but I don’t want him to think I’m one of those girls he’s just having fun with & sleeps around too soon and can’t marry.”

What’s this? Do guys really think of some women as “fun” and some as “marriageable”? Indeed. I’m immediately taken back to a different conversation w/a guy who was stating just that. There are two kinds of girls—the kind you have fun with and the kind you marry. And, apparently women do also. None that I know of personally, but this guy went on to tell me that indeed women have their boy-toys and the men they marry. It doesn’t sound so far-fetched—didn’t the long-haired boy start off as Samantha’s (Sex & the City) boy-toy? But back to the problem at hand.

“If you both felt comfortable, I’m sure it’s fine.” I’m not used to early morning conversations of such nature so I was eager to get off the phone.
“You don’t think it was too soon then?”
“Like I said, it really depends on your comfort level. Maybe talk to him about it to see where he’s at if you’re worried.”
Then came the inevitable question.
“Have you ever slept with someone this soon?”“Oh, you know what, I’m pulling into work so I better go.” That was a close call. But nevertheless, I was left pondering how soon is too soon? And what kind of girl am I—the marrying kind or the having fun kind? Maybe I should do a survey of ex’s…or NOT.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Virutal Dating Part Two

This year I decided to start the year off on a clean slate--no more virutal dating, no more "searching" for the right will happen when it happens. Or so they say. For now I am living and enjoying life. There are one or two possible interests on the horizon but for now they are friends and either they will remain that way or not, that's yet to be seen. That's besides the point. The point here is while I haven't been actively doing the online dating thing, I still have accounts that remain inactive on a couple of sites. Because of that I sometimes get responses to my profiles. Even if the inquiries sound good I don't usually respond because meeting people this way just does not appeal to me anymore. What gets me are some of the emails I have received from people expressing an interest. Now, when I came across a profile I was interested in, I did my best to put my best foot forward, even if it is through email. Here are just a couple of emails I have received that amazed me. They left me wondering if these people really care about the first impression they're making. Go ahead and call me a jerk (or whatever harsh word you choose to use) but why don't people care about grammar anymore? I don't care if it's only email--unless I know you personally, grammar matters!!! Would you have responded to these?

I am really amazed by reading your profile. It was treaded in an hillarious manner. Well, after reading I thought why not I mail you. So, here is the mail... I am also 32 and looking for a woman to date and have relationship. If you get a chance, read my profile and reply me back if you are open.

I am 40 years old medical doctor and farm business owner from Pakistan (not in UK mentioned in profile.. sorry). Would you be interested in marriage with someone of a different country or culture as I am? I am not rushing to marriage straight away but that's what I aim for. If yes, we can explore more. I am simple, honest, very flexible, understanding and caring person. I know how to treat and appreciate my lady with care and respect and can treat her queen or princess. I won't impose any restrictions but would needs total loyalty and faithfulness in return. Religion of partner is not important to me but I am Muslim by birth (not much religious though).If relationship doesn't works, we can be true friends forever at least. Do get in touch if willing to explore more.

Hello: There How are you? I hope you are fine. I read you ad very well and I believe we will be the best match. If you show interests to me and are willing to know more about me, please let me know. WE have mutual communication by email and later you will find that I am a very nice man too. And I maybe I'm the one you are looking for. I hope to be close to you with my kind and sincere. I do feel you are very excellent. I am very lucky to have met you among the mess on net. I will cherish the precious relationship. My name is Mohammed born in Alexandria, Egypt grow up to age 20 then I move to Germany and I have been living in Charlotte, NC. USA from 1983. I am successful and financially secure with a love of living life to its fullest. I love dining out and I LIKE All music, I love to Travel, Swimming, Cooking, Playing sports, horseback ridding, bike rides, jump rope, Driving sports car convertible in the sunset, walking on the beach, playing in the sand with my kids. I have two beautiful kids who are the light of my life. I do hope we can know each other more with our communicate. I'm young man with a lot to offer that special women. I am successful and financially secure with a love of living life to its fullest I would like to share my life with a women who knows who she is and what she wants, a women with plans who can also be spontaneous. I have two beautiful kids who are live full time with me...but I also realize that it's important to share yourself with a special someone. Whoever comes into my life will get a person who views the glass as half full NEVER half empty, a caring, warm, big hearted guy. MANY THANKS FOR YOUR RESPOND. would describe myself as honest, caring, intelligent (but not a stuffy intellectual), goofy, and fun. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family, and value those relationships tremendously. I have a great sense of humor and I am basically a happy person. I would like very much to have someone special in my life. I am an easy going person that is loyal and trustworthy, affectionate and sensitive, who values family and friends and live a healthy lifestyle. I have a deep desire to worship and please GOD. I believe. that a woman should be treated with respect and showered with love. She always be the center of my love. I am looking for a durable, stable relationship, someone not afraid to communicate what's on their mind, especially if it affects our relationship. A good sense of humor and a positive outlook are essential. I love the ocean and the beach, and am willing to go shark diving once! I like singing really loud in my car and deluding myself that nobody can see me doing it. I listen to a wide variety of music and I would have a very difficult time choosing an all time favorite song. Love to travel to exotic places and explore the culture. I am professionally employed and basically happy with my life, but I am looking for a quality person to share it with. I find that most anything can be interesting or fun if you are with the right person. If you're looking for a best friend AND your future better half then I'm looking forward to talking to you. HERE SOME QUESTION AND I LIKE YOU TO ANSWER THE SAME QUESTION I'M ALREADY ANSWERING THEM. How old are you? I am 45 years old. How old are your kids? My kids they are very young. Mohammed is 9 years old and jasmine is 7 years old. 2- Where is their mother? there mother is American. About what happen with my ex wife she cheat on me with others. 3- What do you do in life and what kind of education do you have? I own business for 12 years. my Education mechanic Engineer specialist in motor craft. 4- Are you serious? I'm very serious no time for games I have kids need love not jocks, I'm also looking for lady to be nice, polite, lovely, friendly, and sweet. I AM SICK LADY ALL IN ONE WOMEN PASSIONATE LOVER, CARING FRIEND CULTURALLY DIVERSIFIED CONVERSATIONALIST OPEN MINDED, KINDHEARTED COMPANION ACTIVE GLOBE-TROTTER, TRUE LIVE LOVER/POSITIVE THINKER. PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE, CUTE / EDUCATED AFFECTIONATE, INTELLIGENT, PATIENT, LOVING FOR CHILDREN VERY MUCH, ACTIVE, ORGANIZED a God fearing partner life. Respectable, Dependable. Mature, stable emotionally at least. A women who is ready to settle down. A women who enjoys life yet not very impressed with material stuff in life. A women who is willing to be the DEVOTED WIFE. Thank you for READING MY EMAIL. Any other question you may like to ask please ask me on the phone I do not like to give to much detail on the net. I would love to see your pictures if you do not mind. have a nice day. I'm not a member on here-so please SEND ME YOUR RESPOND TO MY EMAIL

Reading List

I was in a book club last year--well, really, just the first half of the year. We picked a few decent books to read--like the Red Tent, the Kite Runner--okay, so it was just a couple. I may have read another good one through them but I can't recall. But most of the selections were annoying. How can a book be annoying you ask? Well, the plots were predictable and the characters just weren't intriguing enough, or I was turned off by the title so I didn't bother with the book. I know, I know, you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover, but if I don't even find the title interesting, why should I bother with the rest of the book? Anyway, recently a friend brought a book back for me from another country. And shortly thereafter another friend asked me what I thought of the book so far. The following words slipped out: Well, it's just not that well written. In response my friend said, okay you've got to stop being so critical--what do you think of the story? And on went our conversation.

But, it got me thinking. Am I being too critical? What is it exactly that makes me say "It's just not that well written." I am not by any means a great writer myself so what expertise am I basing this criticism on? Does a book have to be well written for it to be enjoyable? I know many people who read romance novels just for the hell of it--and I don't know that either of the above-mentioned books are particularly "well-written" but they tell great stories. So, is reading anything a good thing or just reading quality books? Well, contrary to popular belief, I don't have all the answers.

However, one of my new year's resolutions was to read some of the classics. The one that I've started is Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert. I haven't gotten very far into the book--it tends to be a little bit of a slow read even though it is captivating. From what I've read so far, I have to agree with one of Amazon's editor's description: In Madame Bovary Flaubert never allows anything to go on too long; he can suggest years of boredom in a paragraph, capture the essence of a character in a single conversational exchange, or show us the gulf between his soulful heroine and her dull-witted husband in a sentence (and one that, moreover, presages all Emma's later experience of men).

So, I guess what makes a well-written book is when you know the author has chosen each and every word carefully to get across his/her point across. I suppose that's what makes the classics the classics--they're not only well-written but tell great stories and develop characters that stick in one's mind. I hope one day I can be as meticulous about the words I choose to write as some of the great ones out there!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Happy New Year

So, we're well into 2005 and my new year's greetings are a bit delayed. The last few months have been busy...Here's a quick rundown of what's kept me busy:

a part-time job at Crate & Barrel, where using my awesome discount, i collected some nice serving platters; hosted a tree-trimming party for my 6' tree, using the awesome platters; a dear friend visit from Iraq; a fun wedding in Chinatown where I met a boy who took me on a date, explained to me why he wasn't going to pay & then went in for a kiss (i think he read the wrong book on what to do on a date); the C&B holiday party in the ballroom at the Union Station, for which I got to dress up and where I danced with the CEO to Michael Jackson's PYT; went on another date where I had fun but the next day got a poem from the boy about how I've changed his world and realized that I want to be in an even exchange relationship; had Thanksgiving w/a wonderful friend who went all out with the turkey and all the trimmings; got sick, got better; celebrated Eid w/family, celebrated Xmas Eve & Xmas with family and friends in-town and from out-of-town and finally closed out the year with a bang of a New Year's party.

And now it's 2005. This year I didn't make any major resolutions. I think I'm going to attempt to read the classics, find a way to give back, to be more creative and to be a better family member (sister, aunt, daughter) & friend. Here's to the New Year!