Monday, February 07, 2005

he's just not that into you

Of course we all remember the episode when Miranda learned that the guy of the moment just wasn't that into her. And how liberated she felt. Well, here's the book that's meant to liberate all single women by giving them the power of knowledge. And, here's the knowledge I've gained:
  • if he doesn't call, he's just not that into you (as the writer says: "With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you...If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.") In my opinion, the same rule applies to email.
  • if he's sleeping with someone else, he's just not that into you
  • if he's not asking you out, he's just not that into you
  • if he's breaking up with you, he's just not that into you
  • if he's married to someone else, he's just not that into you
  • if he's a selfish jerk, a bully or a big freak, he's just not that into you
  • if you don't know if you're dating him, he's just not that into you (apparently when a guy's really into you and wants to date you, he'll let you know!! Imagine that!)

Can I (from my own & from friends' experiences) also add:

  • if he only talks about himself, he's just not that into you
  • if he only calls you at 1:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he's just not that into you (and he's only calling for one reason, do not let him come over!!!)
  • if he's only returning your phone calls, he's just not that into you
  • if he's jacking-off on your bed on the 2nd date, he's just not that into you (ok, ok, ok, i'll let that one go...eventually!!!)
  • if he's not making New Year's plans with you, he's just not that into you
  • if he doesn't want to be exclusive, he's just not that into you
  • if you're confused about what's going on with you two, he's just not that into you
Of course, we all already know all of these things--so what's the big hoopladoo about the book? Well, I for one just found it to be a nice reminder of all of the above, and it's true, knowledge is power. Here's another nice reminder from the book: there is no reason to be with someone who is not that into you. You are too intelligent, beautiful, wonderful to be waiting around for a phone call. Go and live your life. I think the main point of the book is basically care enough about yourself not put up with b.s. So, excuse me while I continue to live my life. And, if you're interested in me, just be straight w/me 'cos I've got a life to live. Oh, but wait, just one more thing.

Here's what else the book got me thinkin' about--why leave the guys out in the cold? Why not also give them the power of knowledge. Aren't they always complaining about not knowing what women want? How about someone out there write a book "she's just not that into you if..." I'll help them out with a couple of pointers:

she's just not that into you if:
  • washing her hair on a date night is more important than seeing you (ok I've never actually known anyone to use this excuse, but just in case and really I don't know any women who spend a whole evening doing this)
  • she's not returning your phone calls (i.e. take a hint and don't keep calling. That automatically puts you in the freak category.)
  • she's too busy (see above from "he's not that into you")
  • she's only seeking you out when she has car problems, other guy problems, plumbing problems, etc...
Anyone else have anything to add to this list?

1 comment:

Mac said...

um, car problems? Hmmm. I feel violated and used. :-)