Boys, boys, boys

Will they ever learn? Being single and dating is always so much fun...and interesting. As a result of my last date, and subsequent conversations w/my girlfriends, I thought I'd help out some single boys/men and point out some don'ts of 1st, 2nd, 3rd or really any dates (unless there is mutual agreement--mutual means she would like this behavior as much as you!).

• Do not order for your date--yes, we are in 2004 and we are quite capable of ordering for ourselves.
  
• If you invite her to dinner, let her eat dinner (that means an entree).
  
• No matter how excited you are, do not jack-off on your date's bed when you're on a 2nd date. Or really, any date. Take it home, honey 'cos honestly, it's no turn on for us.
  
• Do not rip off your date (i.e. don't pocket the change that's hers, etc.).
• No matter what a great "rack" she has, "you have a nice set there" is not a compliment. Neither are "I'd like to get my hands on those" or "Damn, what size are you?"
• Do not tell your date you got a "hard-on" standing behind her at a show. Again, not a turn for us and it won't get you anywhere fast.
  
• Do not hop in the first cab that comes your way and say see ya, leaving her waiting for the next cab. I don't care if you lost the game of pool or darts.
• Do not leave her waiting for a bus alone in a bad neighborhood. I don't care if you don't have a car, be courteous enough to make sure she gets on the bus.
  
• No matter how beautiful your date's lips are, it's not okay to tell her she has great lips for a blow-job. Again, not a compliment.
  
• Do not talk about the only girlfriend you had--back in highschool, who left you with a broken heart that's left you not trusting women. Actually, go ahead and talk about it. It'll give us a chance to get rid of you faster and neither of us will have wasted any time.
  
• Don't chew with your mouth open, or allow food to fly out of your mouth. Actually, this is a general tip--remember this whenever you're eating in other's company.
  

Friends, please help out any single men you know and pass this on to them.