All Apologies

This is one of my favorite poems ever:
This Is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.
--William Carlos Williams

It's the most un-apologetic apology and that's the beauty of it (for me, anyway). An ex-coworker emailed me variations upon it. Apparently not everyone is as fond of the poem as I am. Here are the variations:

I
I chopped down
the house
that you had
been saving

to live in
next summer.

I am sorry
it was morning
I had nothing to do
its wooden beams
were so inviting.

II
We laughed
at the hollyhocks
together
then sprayed them
with lye.

Forgive me
I simply do
not know
what I'm doing.

III
I gave away
the money
that you had
been saving to live
on for the next ten years.

The man
who asked
for it
was shabby

Forgive me
the firm March
wind on the porch
was so juicy
so cold.

As much as I love the poem, these made me laugh. Any apologies written to me like this would have to be forgiven for their shear creativity.

13

My little (or not-so-little) nieces have turned 13. They've entered the exciting world known as the "teens". And I'm hit with feelings of nostalgia & old age. 13 yrs ago, I was merely a college student, trying to figure out my life.
13 yrs ago, I held both of them in my arms at the same time--one in each arm. I heard them wake up, one at a time in the middle of the night. And on their 1st birthday, I saw them sitting on the gift table at their party, looking very much like the gifts they were to us all.
10 yrs ago, I landed a job at a pharmaceutical company, took a semester off and worked full-time.
10 yrs ago, we went to the Children's Museum where they stood straight up inside a tunnel, painted their faces and pretended to be kings.
8 yrs ago, I finally graduated from college, had a fabulous celebration, made a job change, moved out of my parents' home and in with my sister & the girls.
8 yrs ago, the girls were scared by my voice loss on graduation day (I had celebrated the night before) and I heard Shazia singing (when she didn't think anyone was listening) Rolling Stones "you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you'll get what you need."
6 yrs ago, I made yet another job change and survived my first real broken heart.
6 yrs ago, the girls started playing soccer, or I should say standing on the soccer field, and I started dropping them off to school in the mornings with a kiss.
4 yrs ago, I moved out of my sister's and into the city into my very own place and missed driving the girls to school and having their chitter-chatter wake me on weekend mornings.
4 yrs ago, the girls helped move me into my new place, explore my new neighborhood, helped me explore my new neighborhood and walked down the aisle as beautiful flower girls at their mom's wedding.
3 yrs ago, they spent a weekend at my place & we went to see the Blue Man Group for their birthday.
2 yrs ago, they started joking they'd soon be taller than me.
1 yr ago, they were as tall as me, and they became sisters to a new baby girl.
Which of course brings us to the present with two beautiful girls starting their teens. And that's it for my walk down memory lane.

he's just not that into you

Of course we all remember the episode when Miranda learned that the guy of the moment just wasn't that into her. And how liberated she felt. Well, here's the book that's meant to liberate all single women by giving them the power of knowledge. And, here's the knowledge I've gained:

• if he doesn't call, he's just not that into you (as the writer says: "With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you...If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.") In my opinion, the same rule applies to email.
• if he's sleeping with someone else, he's just not that into you
• if he's not asking you out, he's just not that into you
• if he's breaking up with you, he's just not that into you
• if he's married to someone else, he's just not that into you
• if he's a selfish jerk, a bully or a big freak, he's just not that into you
• if you don't know if you're dating him, he's just not that into you (apparently when a guy's really into you and wants to date you, he'll let you know!! Imagine that!)

Can I (from my own & from friends' experiences) also add:

• if he only talks about himself, he's just not that into you
• if he only calls you at 1:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he's just not that into you (and he's only calling for one reason, do not let him come over!!!)
• if he's only returning your phone calls, he's just not that into you
• if he's jacking-off on your bed on the 2nd date, he's just not that into you (ok, ok, ok, i'll let that one go...eventually!!!)
• if he's not making New Year's plans with you, he's just not that into you
• if he doesn't want to be exclusive, he's just not that into you
• if you're confused about what's going on with you two, he's just not that into you

Of course, we all already know all of these things--so what's the big hoopladoo about the book? Well, I for one just found it to be a nice reminder of all of the above, and it's true, knowledge is power. Here's another nice reminder from the book: there is no reason to be with someone who is not that into you. You are too intelligent, beautiful, wonderful to be waiting around for a phone call. Go and live your life. I think the main point of the book is basically care enough about yourself not put up with b.s. So, excuse me while I continue to live my life. And, if you're interested in me, just be straight w/me 'cos I've got a life to live. Oh, but wait, just one more thing.

Here's what else the book got me thinkin' about--why leave the guys out in the cold? Why not also give them the power of knowledge. Aren't they always complaining about not knowing what women want? How about someone out there write a book "she's just not that into you if..." I'll help them out with a couple of pointers:

she's just not that into you if:

• washing her hair on a date night is more important than seeing you (ok I've never actually known anyone to use this excuse, but just in case and really I don't know any women who spend a whole evening doing this)
• she's not returning your phone calls (i.e. take a hint and don't keep calling. That automatically puts you in the freak category.)
• she's too busy (see above from "he's not that into you")
• she's only seeking you out when she has car problems, other guy problems, plumbing problems, etc...

Anyone else have anything to add to this list?